3 Lessons I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Mum
Guest Writer - Natalie Weiss Sleep Consultant at The Conscious Parenting Co
Becoming a new parent is an incredible journey filled with joy, challenges, and a myriad of surprises. As I reflect on my early days as a parent, there are three valuable lessons that I wish someone had shared with me. These insights could have eased my transition into parenthood and helped me better understand the unique needs of my little one.
Having Realistic Expectations For My Newborns Sleep:
One of the first lessons I learned as a new parent was the importance of setting realistic expectations about infant sleep. In the dreamy days of pregnancy, I envisioned my baby peacefully sleeping in any scenario, on any schedule, on any surface. I imagined them falling asleep easily in my arms and never having to fight them to go to sleep. However, the reality of infant sleep is often quite different. Newborns have their own sleep patterns, and it's entirely normal for them to wake up multiple times during the night. I wish I had the insight or knowledge on their awake windows. I wish I had the understanding that they need to wake up overnight to survive. I remember feeling hopeless and confused when my daughter would wake up 2-3 times overnight or even more!
Understanding that frequent night awakenings are part of a baby's natural sleep cycle can help parents manage their expectations. Embracing a flexible approach and establishing a bedtime routine can contribute to a more peaceful sleep environment for both baby and parents. Remember, it's okay to seek support and take turns with your partner to ensure everyone gets some much-needed rest.
Breastfeeding is Hard, and That's Okay:
Before embarking on my breastfeeding journey, I had heard numerous tales of the magical bond between mother and baby during nursing sessions. When my daughter was born, we had issues with latching and having long enough feeds to ensure she was full. I felt disappointed in myself that I couldn't feed my baby with my body, I felt like I wasn't 'enough' of a Mum for her. Well... it has taken me almost 2 years to accept and realise that this is exactly what almost every mother goes through if they choose to breastfeed. It is not easy. It can be a long journey and it is a frustrating one.
So, let's acknowledge that breastfeeding is a learned skill for both mom and baby. This can alleviate the pressure new mothers may feel. It is something you and your baby will learn together. Seeking guidance from lactation consultants, joining support groups, and being patient with the process can make a world of difference. Remember, every feeding journey is unique, and the well-being of both mother and baby is the ultimate priority.
Every Baby is Different:
Perhaps the most crucial lesson I wish I knew from the start is that every baby is different. While there are general guidelines and milestones, it's essential to recognize and celebrate the uniqueness of your little one. What works for one baby may not work for another, and this extends to everything from sleep routines to feeding preferences.
This is mostly important when listening to other parents in your parents groups. Try not to compare your child with theirs. Each child has a different brain, temperament, parent, personality and soul. It all effects how they interact with the world and their own parent. So, give yourself a break and only compare your child with themselves. Just because little Jamie is sleeping through the night at 8 weeks, doesn't mean your little one has to!
Final note from me… the early days of parenthood are filled with both magical moments and unexpected challenges. Setting realistic expectations about infant sleep, understanding the complexities of breastfeeding, and embracing the uniqueness of every baby can pave the way for a more fulfilling and enjoyable parenting experience.
Remember, you're not alone in this journey, and seeking support and guidance can make all the difference.
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